


Hesitation

by KariFoxxe



Category: American Horror Story (Coven)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Eventual Fluff, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 22:26:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17733797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KariFoxxe/pseuds/KariFoxxe
Summary: Set pre-Seven Wonders. Cordelia and Misty take a step, but is it in the right direction?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First fanfic in years. Excuse me while I brush off some of my dust. I love angst- so expect a lot of it. Happiness to come, I promise!

“We can’t....” her whispered plea swallowed as Misty tenderly kissed her lips, cradling her face gently. 

She was the headmistress and falling for her newest student wasn’t appropriate. Cordelia wasn’t even sure how they got into this position to begin with. She suddenly felt the greenhouse door slam closed behind her as Misty pushed her against it with an eagerness. Cordelia struggled internally with pulling Misty closer to her body or pushing her away. 

Her hands grabbed Misty’s shirt bunching it up as she kissed her back, feeling their magic stir up and strengthen between the women. She wanted this and now knew Misty did too. Why shouldn’t she be allowed to be happy? Hadn’t she gone through enough in her life with Fiona refusing to be a mother, Hank cheating on her, and hearing the rest of the coven whisper behind her back about her disfigurement? 

“Mmm..” Misty hummed into the kiss, running her hands up her headmistresses sides cupping her breast. Her knee pressing between Cordelia’s and feeling the heat that burned there. 

Cordelia snapped back to the present- to the reality of what was happening. This wasn’t a fantasy or a game. This was a young vulnerable witch who needed the coven’s protection. Her magic coursed through her not fully aware of the strength, before flinging Misty away from her and against the opposite wall. 

“We can’t.” Her voice now stronger, daring the younger witch to argue. The room was silent except for the sound of Misty’s labored breaths. Despite not being able to see her, Cordelia could sense the confusion and hurt radiating off her. “I’m sorry...” she whispered as she hung her head, felt for her cane and walked out of the greenhouse. 

As Misty watched her turn and leave, she slid down the wall slowly and pulled her knees to her chest. She didn’t understand what she had done wrong. She felt Miss Cordelia’s hands grip her tighter as she kissed her back. How could she have been so mistaken? A single tear slid down her cheek as she bit her lip to prevent more. 

Cordelia made her way into the house, hearing the other girls chatting in the kitchen over weekend plans and attempted spells. At least there were no fights currently. 

“Hey Cordelia, we were looking for you earlier. Where were you—“ Zoe cut off quickly sensing the frustration and hurt from her headmistress. 

“I need to grade some papers.” Cordelia quipped as she excused herself from the main room. She knew it was a stupid excuse considering she couldn’t even see the papers. She just had to get away. 

Zoe looked back out the door where Cordelia just entered. She knew her headmistress was in love with Misty and Misty her. She turned and went outside leaving the younger girls to their own devices. 

Opening the greenhouse door, she saw Misty standing up and straightening her shawl, her eyes red from tears. 

“Misty! Oh my god what happened?” Zoe yelped rushing over to help her. 

Misty jerked back from her friends caring touch keeping her eyes downcast. “Nothin’. I’m fine. Leave me be.”

“Misty, talk to me. I just saw Cordelia come in from here and she didn’t seem ok. Did you two get in a fight?”

She glances up at that before shaking her head, her blonde curls falling to cover her face. “You wer’ wrong, Zoe. She don’t like me like that.” 

“I’m not wrong. Nan heard her thoughts! She loves you, Misty. You can’t give up on her.” Zoe reaches out to gently take Misty’s hand hoping she can fix whatever transpired between the two women. 

“Zoe, she threw me against the wall when I kissed her and stormed out! That ain’t any kinda love I want a part of! I’ve already been burned at the stake once!”

She turned and ran out of the greenhouse before the tears could fall again. She hated feeling stupid and weak. She knew this wasn’t her tribe and couldn’t believe she’d let a beautiful blonde witch almost convince her otherwise. This wasn’t her home. She knew she could survive on her own. She had this long anyways. 

——————

Cordelia sat at her desk, her glasses in front of her and her face resting in her hands. Despite how hard she tried to stop it, the tears had flowed as soon as she was alone. She was terrified of losing the one person who meant more to her than anything. How could she have let her guard down and allowed that to happen? Misty could never want the monster that Cordelia was. 

Zoe flung open her headmistress’ office door glaring at her. “What the hell is wrong with you Cordelia!” The angry witch stormed in without bothering to even shut the door behind her. 

“Zoe.” She slowly picked up her sunglasses and put them back on. She hated to be without them. Others may not openly comment about the scars but she didn’t want them to be on display. She already felt vulnerable as it was with her moment of weakness outside. 

“She left you know. I don’t know what you did or said but she left.”

Her heart skipped a beat, as if it was deciding whether to continue living or not. She couldn’t seem to catch her breath. “What did you say?”

“Misty. She left. I went outside to check on her and she was on the floor crying before saying she made a mistake and then ran out.” Zoe’s tone was softer, almost fearing Cordelia‘s reaction at the news. 

The blonde witch shook her head, “No no no no no...” she didn’t mean to push her away to the point of leaving. She only wanted to protect Misty as she had promised the day they met. 

She stood up, straightening her skirt and took a breath. She could sense the younger witch, her despair and hurt and ... longing? She focused on Misty and held her breath allowing her power to take her right to the younger witch. 

———-

Misty made her way through the swamp listening to the cicadas and birds. Here she was home. With the animals and insects away from judgement and people who would hurt her. She heard leaves crunch to her right and turned to see one of her alligators crawl out of the water toward her. As she knelt down in front and smiled slightly the gator head bumped her hand and lay down. 

“Hey there fella. I missed ya too. Sorry I was gone so long. Hope ya took care of e’eryone for me?” She smiled at her friend. As she stood up she sensed a change in the swamp. The cicadas stopped and Misty felt the hum of a strong magic slide over her skin. She could recognize that magic signature anywhere. 

“Why are you here?” She asked quietly not bothering to turn around. 

“Misty, I - “ Cordelia began not quite sure where Misty was standing and hearing a low growl behind her. She froze terrified in her spot. 

“He won’t bother ya.” Misty deadpanned as she came up to her headmistress’ side and took her arm. Despite how hurt she was, she still couldn’t leave a blind woman alone in the swamp. Her gators wouldn’t hurt her, but she might trip over a root. 

Cordelia turned to face Misty, pausing for a moment relishing in the feel of the young woman’s hand on her arm. “I’m sorry, Misty. I’m not sure what to do here and I’m terrified to lose you. I don’t think I could survive it.” 

Misty silently led her towards her shack. Her heels clicking on the wooden stairs the only sound besides her heartbeat in her ears. 

“I’m sorry too, Miss Delia. I shouldn’t of kissed ya. I know ya have responsibilities and girls lookin’ up to ya now and I don’t wanna ruin that.” Misty could feel her heart breaking as she tried to stay strong. She could go back to being just another witch in the school. “It was stupid of me to think that you felt anythin’ for me. Ya don’t even like girls, havin’ a husband an all. Just forget everything please Miss Delia. I’ll come back to the school later. I just need some time alone to think. You don’t have to—“

Cordelia’s breath caught in her throat. This wasn’t going the way she planned at all. When Zoe told her that Misty loved her, she knew she messed up royally. She had both physically and emotionally pushed away the woman she loved. “Misty, stop please.” She interrupted the young witch. She took a tentative step closer to where Misty was and held out her hand. She remembered the first time she held out her hand to the beautiful blonde in hopes she would take it. Misty didn’t hesitate the first time, despite her newly scarred face must have been a shock. She hoped more than ever Misty didn’t hesitate this time either. 

Misty looked down at the outstretched hand and back up to Cordelia’s face. Her marbled eyes starring straight at Misty. If she didn’t know better, she’d have thought the older witch could see her. She wasn’t sure she could do this again. 

Misty hesitated and took a step backwards. 

“Misty?”

“Ya should really get back before it gets dark, Miss Delia.” Misty sighed quietly hearing the confusion in Delia’s voice. Remembering the feeling of Cordelia lashing out so violently and tossing her across the greenhouse like a rag doll till hung in her memory. Just like she had told Zoe, she had already been burned alive once. She didn’t want to be with someone who could hurt her so easily. 

Cordelia was sure she felt the last pieces of her heart shatter as she lowered her hand to her side. “Oh ok... yea you’re right.” She whispered as she took a step backwards. 

Misty closed her eyes sensing Cordelia’s magic leave the swamp. The tears fell quietly as she collapsed to the wooden floor.


	2. Hesitation Ch 2

She stood in the greenhouse not moving. Not knowing what to do or think. How did it get to here? One minute they were working together to replant some belladonna and the next, Cordelia was kissing Misty. She had tried so hard to ignore how the younger woman made her feel, how her simple smile could save her soul, how working their magic together made her feel as if she would die to save the world. She knew that Misty was her soulmate. Why she had messed it all up by pushing her away, by hurting her, she’d never know.   
Zoe cleared her throat as she walked into the greenhouse interrupting Cordelia’s thoughts. “Did you find her?”  
Cordelia simply nodded. How do you tell one of your students that you had overstepped your boundaries and chased off someone who needed their help?   
“She’s at her shack in the swamp.”  
Zoe walked over to Cordelia without saying anything more and just hugged her headmistress.   
Cordelia stiffened for a second before sniffling as she collapsed in Zoe’s arms. She was hit with a vision of Zoe’s which only made it worse.   
“Zoe, I cant just tell her how I feel! Shell kick me out!” misty pleaded with Zoe. Zoe had caught misty ogling Cordelia one morning after breakfast and had been teasing her mercilessly to just confess   
“she wont kick you out, misty! How else are you going to know how she feels if you don’t just talk to her?”  
“And what am I supposed ta say? Hey Miss Cordelia, I know I’m jus’ the new girl here, but gosh you’re beautiful! Its just so kind of you to welcome me to your coven and teach me how to be a better witch. Oh by the way, I cant sleep without dreaming of you, cant do a spell without thinking of you, cant even eat without watching you. I’m helplessly in love with you!” misty dropped her head onto her arms where she was propped up at the kitchen table and whimpered.  
Zoe giggled slightly and shrugged, “Well, that’s one way, sure. I was thinking more of asking her out and see where it goes…”  
Cordelia pulled away gasping slightly and Zoe knew instantly what happened. “What did you see?”  
“You weren’t lying… she loves me?” Cordelia asked still not sure how to believe what she had seen.   
Zoe nodded and held Cordelia’s hands in hers. “You have to get her back. We can all see that she makes you happy.”  
\-----  
It had been 2 weeks of not seeing misty. Two weeks of putting on a mask for the coven that she was fine. During the evenings, she would retire to the greenhouse and sit quietly letting her magic reach out to find Misty, to assure her that she was still alive and hadn’t been eaten by a gator. No matter how many times misty said they were her friends, Cordelia didn’t trust them.   
Cordelia jumped when she heard the door creak open slowly, “who’s there?” she croaked out.   
“Hey Miss Delia, sorry to startle ya.” Came the soft voice of the only Cajun witch who could melt Cordelia into a puddle. Her heart began to race as she spun around to face where the voice came from.   
“Misty?”  
The swamp witch walked over to where the blonde witch was sitting on a stool and knelt down in front of her, taking her hands in hers “Yes, its me.”  
Cordelia reached out to gently touch her face, feeling the soft cheeks and hair tickle her hand as she smiled. “You came back!”  
“Course I did” misty leaned into Cordelia’s hand relishing in the feeling of her touch again. It took 2 weeks for her to decide that whether Cordelia wanted her as a friend or more, or even if she didn’t want to speak to her again, she couldn’t be away from her. Two weeks were far too long to not hear her voice. “I’m sorry about what happened. I promise it wont happen again, Miss Delia.”  
Cordelia quickly shook her head, “no, Misty. Don’t apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m sorry I hurt you, sorry that I freaked out. I was just so shocked at everything and scared to lose you and I went and almost did the one thing I was most scared of. Misty, I need you here with me. However you’ll have me….” She trailed off worried what Misty was thinking and hating more than ever that should couldn’t see her face.   
Misty could feel the tears threatening to fall after Cordelia’s rushed confession. “Miss Delia, there’s something I need to tell you…” she started. Her heart was about to beat out of her chest, but the one thing she had decided in the time away, was that if she were to stay here, she had to be honest.   
“Anything.”  
“I don’t regret kissing you. You are an amazin’ woman and ya deserve someone who will always remind ya of that. I know I’m just a dumb swamp witch and ya can do so much better than me, but…. I love you.” Misty rushed the words out before she passed out from nerves but also braced herself to be thrown across the room again. Her hands were shaking as she reached out to hold Cordelia’s.   
Cordelia let go of the breath she didn’t realize she had been holding. She was sure she had inhaled too much belladonna by accident or had fallen and hit her head sometime and was unconscious. Misty, her Misty, had shown back up and just confessed her love. She dropped to the floor to kneel in front of Misty and leaned in and kissed her slowly. Misty moved her hands to Cordelia’s waist and pulled her closer as she parted her lips and deepened the kiss.   
Cordelia pulled back smiling and whispered, “I love you, Misty Day. Forever.”  
She didn’t hesitate as she leaned in capturing her headmistress’ lips again, feeling her heart soar. She had found her tribe, found her love, found her home.


End file.
